My Name isn't Mommy....

If you're reading this blog, its possbile that you are or want to be a stay-at-home mom. But for many moms, staying home isn't an option. A weak economy, gas that costs the same as a minimum wage job, and the need to put food on the table, all require mom to work. So why does Caitlin Flanagan, writer for The New Yorker say that working moms are selfish by having a career? Basically, she thinks working moms are doing a disservice to their children by working. Never mind that she's working...she's a writer. And she doesn't have to work as her husband makes a very good income. According to The Week (4/14/06), her husbands' income is so good that she doesn't need to shop, cook, or clean! It's easy to advocate the stay-at-home mom life when you've got money and don't have to scrub the toilet, in-between laundry cycles, and feeding Jr.

If I didn't have to work (fortunately I can work at home), I wouldn't. But, would I sacrifice my life to my family? No. Would I play with my children, help with the homework, get them involved in activities, talk with them, teach them important values. Yes, of course. But my name isn't mommy. I don't believe I should live my life for my family to the exclusion of me. In fact, I think its a huge disservice to children to live only for them. I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking her only value in the world is to have babies and serve her husband. I don't want my son to think his wife should be that way either. I am a mom and a person. I have interests and hobbies that I pursue. Sometimes I can't do these hobbies with my children. But by taking "me" time, I not only respect myself, but show my children that my life has value and worth beyond cooking dinner and folding their laundry.

Last week Oprah did a show on women who'd "let themselves go." She profiled several women, many of whom are mothers who love their children and families, but who are miserable because their life had become completely in service to others. These women didn't know who they were any more. As a result, they couldn't be the best mommy or wife. Their emotional tanks were empty.

I would love to see Caitlin Flanagan do the Mom Swap show with a woman more like us. One who does everything she can to be available to her children and family, but who also has to contribute to the family income, do the laundry, cook, clean the house, etc.

What about you? Are you a mom who'd love to be able to have more time with her children but life has drained the energy from you? If you had the lifestyle of Caitlin Flanagan, would you live in total service to your family or would you still eek out sometime for your own emotional and psychological health (like writing for The New Yorker?)

I'd love to see your comments!

Leslie